Where did marriage come from?  Why do we marry?  In Chapter One of Genesis, we read about God creating both man and woman.  At the end of Chapter Two, they are married.  So, this tells me  God created marriage.  But I wonder … why?

 

For God’s glory

God created us in His image–both male and female.  Genesis 5:2 says, “He created them male and female and blessed them.  And when they were created, He called them ‘man’.”  

When a man and a woman unite in marriage and live together in a godly way, they show the world a human representation of the fullness of God.  His male and female-ness.  A godly, healthy, thriving marriage is a tangible example of the glory of God.  When a couple does marriage right, more glory goes to God.  People who like and want what they see in a godly marriage can be drawn to God.  One reason God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) is that it fractures this image the world sees–half of “Him” is now missing.  And the brokenness that remains draws no one to God.

 

For Children

One man and one woman is God’s plan for populating the earth.  “Be fruitful and increase in number …”  (Genesis 1:28) is what God told our first ancestors.  God desires godly offspring—Malachi 2:15.   Genesis 2:24 tells us the two will become one flesh, i.e., 1 momma + 1 daddy = 1 child (usually).  Yet, that verse also means in a godly marriage the two are united emotionally as well.

 

For Pleasure

Sexual pleasure between a man and a woman is part of God’s purpose for marriage.  Song of Songs is a book found in the Bible that is full of sexual imagery and makes it clear that sexual enjoyment is part of God’s plan for a husband and wife.  Basic human anatomy confirms this.  Yet, the world we live in has perverted sexual intimacy in ways that the Bible specifically calls out as wrong (Romans 1:26-27).

 

Emmerson Eggerichs

In his teachings on love and respect, Emmerson Eggerichs tells us God’s purpose for marriage is “… a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ.”  He goes even further to say that most of us don’t really have marriage problems; we have Jesus problems.  These are two very powerful statements that he does a wonderful job explaining in his Building Blocks small group study.  (Which, by the way, is why we made a weekend out of it at Longview Retreat.)

Ephesians 5:33 tells us men are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands.  There are no qualifiers that go along with this; it doesn’t depend on her being lovely or him being respectable.  The command is he loves; she respects.  Period.  Wow!  That can be hard to do.  And that’s why we need Jesus.  And that’s why marriage can be a tool and a test.  

If you label yourself Christian, a Christ follower, then by default, you are to obey Christ’s commands—John 14:21.  Even when you may not like them.  Now understand, accepting abuse is never part of this.  If there is a dictator or a doormat in your marriage, you are not doing this right.  If there is actual abuse, quickly seek Christian, professional counseling.

 

Dying to Self  

We come into this world 100% selfish.  It was our parents’ job to help us work through this and think of others sometimes rather than only ourselves.  Marriage is the final step in this process.  When you agree to live in covenant with someone for the rest of your life, 24/7/365, something has to change or you will be miserable.  Your spouse does not do life like you do and now they never go home—your home IS their home.  You didn’t realize this when you were dating, but here you are, and you have just gotten a glimpse of it.  “My spouse is not who I thought they were.”  They are not “bad”, but they are not who you thought they were either.  

Nothing brings this into focus like doing life side by side in a marriage relationship.  Don’t freak out about it—CHANGE!  Your flesh does not want to change.  You want to keep doing what you’ve been doing.  You want to pick and choose what parts of the Bible you are willing to follow, which commands you will carry out, and which ones you will ignore.  Those are all “Jesus problems”.  We want heaven, but we want it on our terms.  The “old man” has got to go (Romans 6:1-14).  

Jesus can change you.  Jesus was totally unselfish.  He willingly gave up His life for you, to make you acceptable to God in heaven for eternity.  He tells you to love or respect.  Out of love and respect for Him and your reverence and devotion to Him, you can do this.  You can give up your selfishness, and He will be with you in the process.    

Please read: https://longviewretreat.com/putting-jesus-first-in-your-relationship/

Until you deal with you, don’t be too critical of your spouse.  He or she is trapped in the same “mess” you are.  As you grow in your understanding and begin to change, you will see him or her change too.  Then you can talk with your spouse about all this and make real progress towards building oneness in your relationship.