Looking to build a marriage that’s godly, reverent, and lasting? 

Being a godly husband means you are a follower of Jesus Christ, and you try to learn and implement all He teaches about your marriage relationships. Here are some examples of what it means to be a godly husband.

A Godly Husband Loves His Wife

1 Peter 3:7 – Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

You married a woman. And by now, you know, women are as different emotionally as they are physically from men. They think differently. They make decisions differently, and they process life differently. Most women work through a problem by talking about it–a lot. And they want you to do the same. 

These are differences designed by God. Not wrong, just different. And until you understand this, you fight about it or even split up.

So when you love them, you need to love ALL them – even the qualities you don’t like or don’t relate to.

A Godly Husband Shows Grace

Colossians 3:19 – Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Satan is real and working against you as hard as he can. And sometimes, he stirs up conflict within your marriage. It is up to us as men pursuing being a godly husband to fight against the devil and his attacks.

Satan is your enemy, not your spouse. He adds stress and conflict at every opportunity. Beyond that, he fools you–you think you can deal with him. Often, you don’t even know he is at work in your life or that you need to deal with him. You think, “I must have married the wrong person.” Most likely, you did not, but there is stuff going on that you do not understand. That’s why you need Jesus.

Using a harsh tone of voice in an argument or conversation is not going to help the situation. Yes, It causes a woman to back off, but she will not feel loved. You might get immediate relief, but you haven’t fixed anything. The problem is still there and is only going to get worse before it gets better. Sometimes you don’t even realize you said it with a harsh tone of voice. 

Because of the Fall, you both come into marriage very selfishly. Husbands and wives both have a natural tendency to sin until you understand Jesus. Jesus helps us show grace to people in our lives, including our spouses.

A Godly Husband Prays For His Wife

1 Timothy 2:8 – I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands

You’ll never love your wife more than when you pray for her. Praying for her makes you realize how much of a treasure she is, the woman God gave you. You’re pouring yourself into her complete physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

A Godly Husband Leads

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church

We are called to be loving and leading in our homes. The Bible’s commands for men to lead is not based on our attitude or behavior. It doesn’t say to do it when you feel like it. It just says you are supposed to do it. And that is when you know you are growing and maturing in your faith. 

As the leader of your family, note that there is never a dictator or doormat in your house! If your wife says there is, then something is wrong!

A Godly Husband Is Humble

Philippians 2:3 – Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Pride and arrogance have no place in a harmonious marriage. Instead, we’re meant to be humble and unassuming; we shouldn’t jump to worst-case conclusions about one another, and we must always be ready to step up and admit when we’re wrong. 

Humility means not pushing our opinions on one another (even when we’re right). And humility means giving our spouse the floor when we might want it ourselves.

A Godly Husband Loves Sacrificially

Eph 5:25 Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 

Luke 9:23a If anyone would come after me he must deny himself, take up his cross daily

Christ gave himself up for the church, you and me. As Christ-followers, that is what we are supposed to do too. When you deny yourself, you are giving up yourself. When you take up your cross, you are headed toward death. YES! Jesus carried His cross to His crucifixion. 

So, for Jesus to say deny yourself and take up your cross daily, He’s telling us to give up ourselves daily, die to self, and do life a different way. Christ lived on earth as a man. He knows what we are faced with, which is why He said it this way. So we would understand how serious He was.

Ephesians 5:25 demands that the husband dies to self. In effect, he is called to crucify himself for the sake of his wife. 

It’s not talking about some petty sacrifices, like helping with the dishes now and then. It means the husband must devote his entire life, and even be willing to die, for the good of his wife.

A Godly Husband Follows God And His Commands

James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

God is looking at you to love and lead His way. I did it my way for a long, long time. I trusted Jesus for eternity and myself for today. Jesus said in John 14:15 If you love me, obey my commands. I finally got it, I had to follow Jesus’s rules, not mine. 

It’s time to stop the insanity! Don’t keep doing the same thing expecting it to turn out better. Learn something new, and read the Bible. Understand Jesus in a new way, and trust Him for today, just like you do for eternity.

But we don’t want to–we want to do it our way, and she hates it, and we fight over it. Your rules, her rules, or Christ’s rules? What’s it going to be? Are you happy now? Is your wife happy? Is everything at home like you want it to be? Give Jesus a chance to DO what you really can not.

When we are truly following Jesus, we are in a good place. His rules become our rules, and your wife will be much more understanding and willing for you to lead and be the godly husband you were created to be. 

When we truly follow Him, He is between us and all the temptation, sin, or anything else Satan is up to. Nothing about us can deal with Satan–but Jesus can, and He has! And we can rest in that Truth.