Forgiveness in Christian Marriage

for-give verb 1. to cease to blame or feel resentment 

Our heavenly Father is a pure, holy and righteous God.  He can not tolerate sin, yet we all are sinners.  The only way to be with Him in Heaven for eternity is to accept Jesus and all He came here for and stood for.  John 14:6 “I am the way … .  No one comes to the Father except through me.”  Jesus is the “way”, the plan, the provision God has made to deal with and save us from our sins.  Without this “way” our eternity will not be in Heaven, it will be in Hell.

When a person understands, believes and accepts that Jesus left Heaven, fully God, came to earth birthed by a virgin, fully man, lived a perfect, sinless life and was sacrificed by crucifixion; and by His blood (Hebrews 9:22) the sins of all mankind were atoned for (make amends or reparations); that person is saved from Hell and will spend eternity in Heaven.  There is no other way; if there was, Jesus would not have come.  Acts 10:43  “… everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins through His name.”  This means God’s forgiveness and that means Heaven!

Ephesians 4:32 teaches us to “…, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.”  Forgiven sinners are to be professional forgivers of those that sin against us.  Especially our spouse.  Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Paul tells us in Colossians 3:12-14 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Following these commands will change the way you live. Following these commands will improve your marriage. 

If you call yourself Christian this is nonnegotiable.  You can’t be one without the other.  You can’t pick and choose your way through the Bible, cherry picking the things you like and ignoring what you don’t.  You must forgive others as you yourself have been forgiven.

When I forgive it does not mean that what was done to me was “OK”.  Not at all; it did hurt and I did not like it.  When I forgive it means that I am not going to stay stuck at the point of the offense–I am going to move on, I am going to let it go.  I am not going to allow the enemy to continue to poke me over this issue and cause me to behave badly toward you.  Instead, I am going to trust the offense to God and know that He will deal with it in His time and in His way.  There is a lot of freedom right there, and a lot of peace; that adds up to contentment.   

God has a plan for us.  He has provided love, respect, mercy, grace, forgiveness, the Holy Spirit and Jesus to help us get through today and prepare us for eternity with Him.  We get to choose.  Do we find out what each means and how beautifully they can fit together or do we stay stuck seeking worldly advice for problems and circumstances that have eternal consequences?  And He wrote it all down–the Bible!.